You were born to be real, not perfect.

What does that mean for someone with anxiety or depression? Some days you are going to wake up feeling unmotivated or unhappy, sometimes you might burst into tears over nothing, you may feel upset for absolutely no reason at all, you may feel unwanted or uneasy and you may be totally irrational… you know what, that's okay.

Anxiety and depression have impacted my life heavily over the last few years, why do I want to talk about this? Because there is A HEAP of stigma when it comes to mental health. It is a subject that so many people are too scared to talk about (and to be honest with you there are a hell of a lot of people out there who need a lil educating, ya feel) and it really shouldn’t be like that at all. I think talking about it is the best way to overcome it. – that’s what I am doing here folks!

Do I still struggle? Fo’ sho I do, but to be honest with you I have found that putting myself in what I would consider an uncomfortable situation has helped me. I know some of you are probably thinking why would she do that… well I did it because I wanted to better my life… for my job I meet and speak to a lot of different people, some I now have longstanding relationships with and I meet a lot of new people frequently. 5 years ago I would have never been able to do this.

From the outside looking in it is not always obvious.

Here’s a bit of a breakdown for ya’ll

ANXIETY

· Physical: panic attacks, restlessness, or feeling tense, wound up and edgy

· Psychological: excessive fear, worry, or obsessive thinking - BOOM, THAT’S ME HONEY!

· Behavioural: avoidance of situations that make you feel anxious which can impact on study, work or social life, another is looking and feeling on edge.

DEPRESSION

· Behaviour: Withdrawing from close family and friends, not doing usual enjoyable activities, unable to concentrate and heavily drinking/drug abuse.

· Psychological: overwhelmed, guilty, irritable, frustrated, lacking in confidence, unhappy, indecisive, disappointed and miserable to name a few.

· Physical: Tired, sick and run down, headaches and muscle pains, problems with sleeping, loss or change of appetite and significant weight loss or gain

Not all of the above will impact a person with anxiety/depression nor will it only occur to someone who has anxiety or depression but if you notice your homie/homies are acting like the above then it is time to ask R U OK? Asking the question is cool, duh.

Am I scared shitless about posting this? Yep! Why? Because in this world there is so much judgement (UGHHHH). I honestly find it hard to tell when someone is being genuine or if they just want find out some more Goss. – Pretty sad I know! (but hey that could be my anxiety playing up too! * insert cool shrugging shoulders gif here*)

There will be people out there who will read this and literally think the words “get over it, you can control how you feel.” And if that’s you, I’m sorry to say it but that is pure shite. *upside down smiley face* You need educating the most.

If you haven’t gone through it before I totally get that you probably don’t understand it but you should be open to learning about it. If you have gone through it/are going through it I think you are amazing, keep on keeping on.

Yes some days are easier than others and sometimes emotions are easier to control butttttt sometimes it honestly just falls in a heap. I mentioned previously that I have learnt to overcome aspects of this but I am far from conquering this and I am okay with that.

I have spoken to a psychologist about this, did it help? To an extent I suppose but at the end of the day I am the only one that can truly help myself, I have to want it and I have to put the effort in to change it. I got myself into the darn mess and now I am going to get this my ass out of it. – Don’t get me wrong, it is easier said than done.

So here I am, 25 years on this earth and still trying to work out my brain, and that is okay. If YOU are confused, that is okay. if you see a friend confused, that is also okay, but reach out because sometimes it’s hard to tell how deep someone is in this shit. If someone openly talks to you about their mental health it probably took a lot of courage to do so… so don’t be a dick about it.

Love, 

Latoya xx